scratch

josh and i are both home today and its so sweet. it's a cloudly, dreary day and we are both stuck inside. he's making us something to eat right now. he can make the best food when you think there's nothing in the kitchen to make. a real chef, i saw that he had the wok out and some eggs. he must be thinking about some kind of stir fry. i'm sitting in our dark messy computer room. i got on the computer to check my e-mail because it had been like two days. i had 30 unread messages, mostly crap. some gifts i ordered josh are now being shipped. i got him one boston red sox baseball cling for the car. you know the one, it looks like a baseball is busting through the glass. and two lps, a 30 year anniversary edition of dark side of the moon and a new one for me, a jimi hendrix christmas album.

lucy in the sky with diamonds

i'm free! i'm officially on a break from school and i don't have to go to work today. one thing that i am going to do is an ass load of laundry. my bathroom is thoroughly disgusting. i have been so embarrassed when someone has to go in there. i just haven't had the time. probably i have been spending too much time playing playstation 2 baseball with josh. that game is so addictive. i'm trying so hard to beat him but he won't let me be the yankees because their number one and it's like playing the computer basically. i went to the grocery today and spent $62.00. that won't last a week. jeez i need more money.

right

what a great day for doing nothing. it is rainy and dreary and i'm just hanging around cooking today. i can't believe that thanksgiving is tomorrow. i have to drive clear around the entire city tomorrow going place to place. josh is not going to like that. i'll just do all the driving so he doesn't have to get lost. we are even going to a trailor park to see my ex-uncle, that's where my mamaw will be. that will be a first for us both. i bet they will have nice fattening foods, unlike his aunt who always tries to cook gourmet for thanksgiving. last year she made us bleu cheese soup with walnuts-GROSS.

planes

it ended up being a relaxing beautiful fall day. 75 and windy so i think that might be one of the last warm days of the year. sad to think that i have to live constantly cold for the next four months or so. i did so much laundry today. still have some in the dryer and washer but it can wait until the morning. tomorrow i am going to just hang out, clean the house, cook deviled eggs, and enjoy the day with josh. it's his first day off in seven days. there's an 80% chance of storms tomorrow so he's bummed about that. i want to make it as relaxing for him as i can. he works so many hours and i feel sorry for him.

skills

turned my video tape in to allyce today. jeez, i'm so embarrassed by it, i hope she doesn't go way in-depth with her analyzing of it. didn't have time to write a lesson plan to go along with it so i told her i would e-mail it to her tomorrow. i wanted tomorrow to be stress free, damn! didn't do much today besides go to class. stopped by taco bell on the way home, why do i torture myself with that crap? still got my order wrong! i feel like such a complainer...

fear

it's getting too cold to just sit around the house in a t-shirt. i hate winter. i just want to be able to sit around in comfort. got off work two hours early. last few weeks have been terrible tips. i don't even know what i manage to contribute, one bill-two? poor josh, it's all up to him lately. only going to get worse in january.

our

lately we don't have any time together. i mean we don't leave the house much. he works, i work...only mornings and late nights lately. it's a cycle i know. he sent me a text that said, 'tonight...sweeeet'. made me happy to get such a request. the heart quickens.